Been a long while.... seven years to be exact... since I touched this blog. But, with the world the way it is now this feels like a good time to pick things back up.
COVID-19, the novel coronavirus, is not only in the United States...not only in Missouri...but is now in Boone County and has claimed the first fatality in our area. And yet...things still feel kind of normal? I mean normal, but in a weird way.
On Monday it was announced that our district would be closed beginning at the end of the day on Tuesday and continuing until April 13. Or, at least that is when things will be reassessed. My brain and body were ready for Spring Break and so maybe that is why things seem as if they are normal-ish. I'm confident, however, that as the days go on the new normal will set in and I'll be craving the old.
So, in the coming days I am going to post my thoughts, our activities, and all that sort of thing so that I can have some semblance of control in a world that is topsy-turvy.
The youngest child asked what day it was yesterday. It took his sisters awhile to come up with an answer; it is officially summer!
Heat index is another way we are discovering the existence of summer in our house. The homestead is stuffy -- we're cheap and keep it balmy inside -- and the dogs are seeking every fan in the house so they can block the flow of air with their hairy, stinky bodies. And this is the week Marty decides to start riding his bike to work. I'm proud of him, but with the heat and the crazy construction near our house I worry. It is quite possible that I was a Jewish mother in a former life with the way I worry.
In other news: I've learned some interesting tidbits about my body over the last nine days of using ovulation predictor sticks. Specifically I ovulate really late compared to the statistical norms. This could explain why we've missed it the past few months. Might not, but it just might...
It is intriguing to me that I can simultaneously want something so bad and be so utterly and completely freaked out by the thought of the process and then watch as my brain -- always desiring for something rational to occur -- tries to figure it all out. Bio tic tocs and primal fear will win out... God help Marty.
The title makes me sound like I've been really great at using the Mondays this summer for school work.
On the contrary, I'm hoping that saying it will make it so.
I have already had quite a bit of productivity; dropped the middle off at summer band camp, mailed a package, stopped by the library to get another book on grounded theory and am now ensconced in Starbucks for free wifi and a supply of black tea lemonade...
Wish me luck!
Writing comps blow.
I'm in the second stage of my doctoral work: the writing of comps and it sucks the life out of me. Today I've spent since 8 am ( it is 12:30 now) reading and taking notes on the seminal work on grounded theory by Glaser and Strauss. In that time I've read pages 35-79. Wow, glacial speed. Did I mention that it is the seminal work? That which everything else is based upon.
My treat for finishing the chapter is writing this post and then shifting to another book to read about the same concept(s) I just read about, but from that author's understand of Glaser and Strauss.
Damn. Even I am bored by this post. Damn.
Posted by
Susan
7:30 AM
After two weeks of feeling ugh-y and on the verge of vomiting, my mind had created a space for my heart to hope. My body, it seems didn't get the message. So now, we move to another week of waiting to try to form new life. I can't help but make this turn into another way my body disappoints me.
The question becomes, how to turn this (and other) disappointments from messages of despair and self loathing into motivation for new things... health, space for life, growth, etc.
I'll let you know when I figure it out...
Yesterday I received a call from our banker. That makes me feel so grown up and it sounds like we have money -- which we don't. Our banker, who is amazing, is the woman who has helped me with home financing in the two houses I've bought in the last 10+ years. She wanted to see if it would make sense to refi our house (it does) and get permission to run our numbers and see what could work.
Turns out those medical bills we've had for the last year and the subsequent juggling we've had to do to make ends meet have resulted in the numbers just not working in our favor. We're too much of a risk to refi at this point. I knew this and so am not grieving the new found information, but it does restart my frustrations.
If we could refi then we'd be able to have a lower house payment which would be able to make it so we could get out of revolving credit sooner, but since we are in the trap (and slowly working ourselves out of it) of revolving credit we are too great a risk...
But, our banker said that if we can maintain what we've been doing for a few more months then we can look at refi again... sigh. Here's planning on being able to do it!
Late last night we drove to my family's retreat space on the water. So, I'm taking a break from the writing exercises. Instead I'm going to nap with the dogs, listen to the docks sigh and groan, and maybe do some reading for my comps. I plan on being refreshed.
My Three Ring Life
